I’ve had the big “aha” moment where I see more clearly and realize the purpose of my experiences for the last year and a half. During this time, I have experienced intensity in my interactions with others which caused me so much sorrow and grief. It felt like a power struggle. The best analogy I can offer is Gollum and the Ring in Lord of the Rings. Not only did I feel the aggressive meanness of others, but I could almost touch the intensity in the space and air around me. It felt like I was moving my way through an epic battle, but why? I knew in my heart that I needed to face this. For what purpose?
My big aha is the surprising ability to see this now from a higher perspective. I have actually been in an epic battle between the Mind and the Heart. The mind wanted to remain in power and the heart could no longer wait to rise up. This was mirrored in all of my life struggles. Outwardly it appeared I was in conflict with others over their need to own, control, and dominate, while I was fighting to hold space for the higher values of respect, friendship, and basic kindness. I can now see that this struggle outwardly mirrored the inner struggle between my own lower mind and my higher heart. My soul had decided it was time for me to choose between the two. I could no longer walk two roads.
I have shifted tremendously during this time, and I truly feel like a completely new person. The sorrow and grief I worked through was my own inner death. My old self is gone. My heart won this battle, but it may not be the last time I go through this kind of transformation. It’s clear to me that life is a spiral, and each time we revisit a pattern, we go deeper and uncover something new.
If you can relate to this struggle in your life, take a deep breath and work from the heart to get to higher ground. Your soul may be calling for this battle to raise you up but you must choose your weapon.
Love is truly the solution, and it’s the only weapon in this battle that we need. ❤️
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